lovething: bad. in the suicidal weekend i called you up and all i wanted was to feel loved i guess i don't know but i felt so alone and fuckedup that i guess all i did was push you away. however, i don't know if i have the strength to call you.

(doyoucareatall?!)

school: getting easier. getting things done. i am accomplishing great things. in other words, i haven't failed yet.

i have a new bed. i feel like i'm going to get lost on it.

and i keep reaching over in the middle of the night expecting you to be there, and unless you are made of freezing air and blankets, you are not there.

(on better notes in the octave, i'm feeling better than i did 6 hours ago.)